Karaoke

Originally written for Exeunt

Enter user identity.

Anon.

The anonymous profile does not have sufficient user permissions to access this level.

Anon.Press

The press user group has -2 SHIELD on this level. You will be visible to other users. Accept Y/N?

Y

READY VIEWER ONE

ENT

INTRO: You are in a room, gently cloaked by mist. A large SCREEN illuminates one corner, with a small monitor on the opposite side on the ground. BOY and GIRL move around the room, disinterested but

ENT

COMMAND NOT RECOGNISED

waiting. She is on roller

ESC

COMMAND NOT RECOGNISED

skates. Two microphones wait on the flo-

SPACE

INTRODUCTION CANNOT BE PAUSED

-or next to a blue cross and a pink one. They pretend drink from BOTTLES with jauntily coloured straws. There is a PALM TREE.

Palm tree: Investigate/Discard

Investigate

The palm tree is not relevant at this time.

Bottles: Investigate/Discard

Investigate

The bottles are empty. You have gained +1 Knowledge

GIRL: Approach/Ignore

Approach

GIRL is requesting that you IMAGINE MUSIC: Accept/Ignore

Accept

Moment of Veracity has been added to your inventory.

VIEWER FIVE is coughing. Acknowledge/Ignore

Ignore

BOY and GIRL are rubbing their eyes. Acknowledge/Ignore

Acknowledge

BOY and GIRL are posing like porn stars. Acknowledge/Ignore

Acknowledge

BOY and GIRL are posing like they are at a beach partly. Acknowledge/Ignore

Acknowledge

BOY and GIRL have been commanded to pose. They have not. Acknowledge/Ignore

A

You have gained +1 Engagement

BOY and GIRL have been commanded to pose like performance artists. Have they? Y/N

O

COMMAND NOT RECOGNISED

Other

COMMAND NOT RECOGNISED

It’s supposed to be a fuckoign comment on the nature of perofoenmce

COMMAND NOT RECOGNISED

Y

You have gained +1 Engagement

You have gained +1 Insight

VIEWER TWO has shifted in his seat. Acknowledge/Ignore

A

Worry about whether he is liking this: Y/N

Y

Think about work: Y/N

Y

You forgot to email Alisdair.

Fuck

COMMAND NOT RECOGNISED

CMD: Access iPhone

The press user group does not have iPhone access on this level.

BOY and GIRL are requesting to ENTERTAIN you. Accept/Ignore

A

What should they do?

A

COMMAND NOT RECOGNISED

1

COMMAND NOT RECOGNISED

ENT

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What is enteratinment then?

Moment of Profundity has been added to your inventory

BOY and GIRL are requesting that you THINK OF DESTROYING SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL. Accept/Ignore

I

BOY and GIRL are requesting that you THINK OF DESTROYING SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL. Accept/Ignore

I

BOY and GIRL are requesting that you THINK OF DESTROYING SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL. Accept/Ignore

This is trite

COMMAND NOT RECOGNISED

A

You have gained -1 Engagement

You have gained -1 Patience

BOY and GIRL are requesting that you WATCH THEM DIE. Accept/Ignore

A

Forgive/Forget

F

UNSPECIFIED COMMAND

Forgive

You have gained +1 Insight

VIEWER SEVEN has a huge glowing smartphone. Acknowledge/Ignore

A

CMD: Uncross legs

COMPLETE

CMD: Recross legs

COMPLETE

You have gained +1 Health

CMD: Investigate palm tree

The palm tree is not relevant at this time.

The SCREEN is requesting that you HAVE PROFOUND THOUGHTS ABOUT THE NATURE OF EXISTENCE AND PERFORMANCE. Accept/Ignore

A

You have gained +0 Experience

CMD: Information

INFO: You have already gained all available Experience for this level. There are 4 Special Items that you may collect from this level.

ESC

BOY and GIRL are hiding behind the palm tree. Accept/Ignore

A

CMD: Investigate palm tree

Inflatable palm tree.

CMD: Collect

You cannot collect the inflatable palm tree.

FINAL BOSS: Monologue. Crashing wave sounds. Accept/Ignore

I

Level cannot be completed.

A

Moment of Beautiful Language has been added to your inventory

You have gained -1 Health

 

CMD: Stretch shoulders

You have gained +1 Health

VIEWER TWO is frustrated. Acknowledge/Ignore

A

It will take you an hour to get home. Acknowledge/Ignore

I

Applause: Min/Med/Max

M

UNSPECIFIED COMMAND

Med

You have gained +2 Engagement

LEVEL COMPLETE

Health: 18 (+0)

Insight: 37 (+2)

Engagement: 54 (+3)

Patience:  27 (-1)

Inventory: 48 items

 

REQ: Tweet Y/N

N

REQ: Star Rating 1/2/3/4/5

N

COMMAND NOT RECOGNISED

N

COMMAND NOT RECOGNISED

N

You have entered the maximum number of unrecognised commands. Please contact Editor.